This post might feel awkward to you, as some things I am going to say in this post will contradict the things I said in the previous post. FRIENDS, very strange people, sometimes they care about you so much and other times they are like the most ignorant people you will see in your life. You feel like they are the one's you should talk to, you think that they are the ones who will listen, and they ignore you like some piece of shit lying on the road.
I really hoped for the first time that this person would listen to me and I'll finally be able to let out those things I've been holding inside me for a long time, I know that they care but it would be nice for them to show it when it really mattered and not take it lightly. A simple 'What happened to you?' would've meant the world to me at that time, well you don't always get what you want. I'm really short of words today.It's frustrating to have people, who matter to you, not understand you, and why shouldn't it be, they are the only ones you expect to listen to you as you babble about your bullshit. They are expected to listen to you no matter what you keep saying. I don't know about others but I try to keep myself available all times for them. I don't want to anyone to have any kind of bad feelings about me. I'm a very blunt person and I expect my friends to be the same with me, if you don't like something about me, I expect you to say it to my face.
Well they aren't always the ones to blame. Maybe they are just fed up of hearing our problems all the time and they want to take a break from our problems. I mean they too have a life to live and it's not centred around us, even though they acknowledge us as a big part of their lives and I think that we should also acknowledge this fact that they don't always have time for hearing our sad stories. They just don't. We might be sad but we should also remember this very fundamental fact that 'THEY ARE OUR FRIENDS', and it's for a reason that we gave them a very special place in our lives and they did the same thing for us. Anger or depression can make your feelings change for this friend of yours but if you give it some time, you realise that all those feelings were just something like the spur of the moment and you feel guilty for doing this to your friend.
I don't know from where all this good stuff about friends is coming from, totally out of the blue, I think it's because in the process of writing this blog I myself realised what I've done to my friend and maybe it was all my fault. How is it always that I find myself at fault for everything. Maybe I'm this kind of a person who always takes the fault for everything. Maybe it's right or maybe it isn't. Whenever I do this is because I just want to end all the ill feelings between us, I just don't want anything bad or ill feelings to linger between us, so most of the times I take the blame on me.
I don't know why I'm posting things like this. perhaps it's something that everyone goes through after a breakup and believe me, I've had a very bad and ugly one at that. So I guess that it's very easy to get disappointed in someone after you've just had a major breach of trust. I guess universe has a way of getting everything in place in the end.
So like all my other posts I'm going to end this with a quote I just make up on my own. I just don't have anything more to say any more.
"You might fight with your friends, no matter how ugly it gets but in the end you should always be glad they are there"
It wud b bttr to got.o that frnd and sort things out.. rather than writing it here!
ReplyDelete