I think I'm stuck. I'm at a point in my life where I don't want to be and that window to escape has more or less closed. I haven't made the decisions that have led me here. These decisions have been made for me or more like I've been compelled to make certain choices to appease people in my family and my circle. I know this sounds like I'm blaming others for everything that is wrong in my life. I'll be honest, this is partly what I'm doing. But sometimes others are to blame for your condition, right? It cannot be all your fault all the time.
I have wasted 8 years of my life, doing things I did not want to do and being made miserable about the things that I did on my own. I've been made to feel miserable about the choices that I've made that were not in accordance with societal acceptance, as if they were a sin. From decisions of taking a job at a startup to buying a bike for myself, I was constantly told that I have wasted a lot of my parents' money and this decision that I took was not the right one to make. There is a lot of pent up emotion around these issues. I feel reluctant to allow these societal elements dictate my choices but it is hard not to listen to them when the people you care about the most, your parents, listen to them.
No matter how independent we think we are, our decisions are always influenced and biased. It's the people who influence these decisions that matter. And the biggest influence is parents. Parents feel like that they have this responsibility of deciding what is good for their child and what is not. And it right for them to think so but till what extent should we extend this liberty of parents to make these decisions?
I believe that it is a generational thing. My generation has seen the onset of individualism, something that might not have been prevalent during our parents' generation. Parents want their kids to do good in life but they want them to do it the way they approve of and god forbid if you try to do something else. So we are brought up in a manner that we have to be complacent to our parents and to all elders around us. Our generation has a broader perspective about a myriad of topics and we have realised that we are capable of making our own decisions, whether good or bad. And this decision making ability gives us a sense of freedom, a sense of our own self and probably a purpose along with it. Our parents have a hard time accepting this fact and adjusting to this reality, probably because parents see themselves acting as a safety net for us. It's high time that they realised that we need to face some problems and derive solutions from them on our own.
Our generation is having a hard time adjusting to this whole adulting business because we were never raised to be adults. We were always raised to be our parents' children, always complacent. This is why many of us, or at least I, struggle with having a serious adult discussion with our parents. These discussions range from contributing to family earning to opening up about the stress in our lives or just a simple "How are you?" in context to what is happening in our lives. We are being stopped from participating in things like these because these are things that adults do and we are simply children. 20-something, old enough to drink and to choose the government and to do a lot of other stuff, children.
Take a reality check, how many of us know how to do our own laundry, pay the electricity bill, do the taxes, apply for an education loan or, in some cases, even cook a decent meal for ourselves. In most cases, it isn't until you move out and get acquainted with these facts. Our parents are extremely loving and giving and this is the exact same thing that has spoilt them and us.
When is the last time you remember making an important decision for yourself, by yourself? One that would impact your life, say 10 years down the line. Like choosing what you wanted to do after 10th or 12th standard? Which college you wanted to go to? Which job or career you wanted to take up?
This is the same situation that I don't want to end up in. I don't want to look back at my life and see that these were not the things I wanted to do but still had to do them because my neighbours and relatives convinced my parents that this was the only way they would be able to be proud of me.
I am also to share the blame for the situation that I am in. I am not at all assertive (don't confuse that with not being confident) and that has affected my ability to convince my parents that I know what I am doing with my life. A lot has happened with me over the course of the past 10 years and I regret that I didn't have the assertiveness to tell my parents that I had already chosen a path for myself. I know this is a cowardly move writing about it here. My friend once told me that I was not confident enough to talk to people about real issues and that I was scared, which is why I blog about such personal issues. But right now I feel like it is the only way left to at least voice what I have to say.
From the decision to buying a post-paid SIM card to choosing a stream after 10th standard to choosing a college till deciding to do an MBA, my parents have made them for me or asked me to consult someone who would guide me with I should do in life because I clearly had no idea about what I was doing with my life and ironically enough, this too was decided by my parents for me.
Of course, I don't want to sound like I hate my parents. I love my parents but I completely hate the idea of them deciding what I should do in life and that too at a stage when I am completely capable of making these instrumental decisions for myself.
I have wasted 8 years of my life, doing things I did not want to do and being made miserable about the things that I did on my own. I've been made to feel miserable about the choices that I've made that were not in accordance with societal acceptance, as if they were a sin. From decisions of taking a job at a startup to buying a bike for myself, I was constantly told that I have wasted a lot of my parents' money and this decision that I took was not the right one to make. There is a lot of pent up emotion around these issues. I feel reluctant to allow these societal elements dictate my choices but it is hard not to listen to them when the people you care about the most, your parents, listen to them.
No matter how independent we think we are, our decisions are always influenced and biased. It's the people who influence these decisions that matter. And the biggest influence is parents. Parents feel like that they have this responsibility of deciding what is good for their child and what is not. And it right for them to think so but till what extent should we extend this liberty of parents to make these decisions?
I believe that it is a generational thing. My generation has seen the onset of individualism, something that might not have been prevalent during our parents' generation. Parents want their kids to do good in life but they want them to do it the way they approve of and god forbid if you try to do something else. So we are brought up in a manner that we have to be complacent to our parents and to all elders around us. Our generation has a broader perspective about a myriad of topics and we have realised that we are capable of making our own decisions, whether good or bad. And this decision making ability gives us a sense of freedom, a sense of our own self and probably a purpose along with it. Our parents have a hard time accepting this fact and adjusting to this reality, probably because parents see themselves acting as a safety net for us. It's high time that they realised that we need to face some problems and derive solutions from them on our own.
Our generation is having a hard time adjusting to this whole adulting business because we were never raised to be adults. We were always raised to be our parents' children, always complacent. This is why many of us, or at least I, struggle with having a serious adult discussion with our parents. These discussions range from contributing to family earning to opening up about the stress in our lives or just a simple "How are you?" in context to what is happening in our lives. We are being stopped from participating in things like these because these are things that adults do and we are simply children. 20-something, old enough to drink and to choose the government and to do a lot of other stuff, children.
Take a reality check, how many of us know how to do our own laundry, pay the electricity bill, do the taxes, apply for an education loan or, in some cases, even cook a decent meal for ourselves. In most cases, it isn't until you move out and get acquainted with these facts. Our parents are extremely loving and giving and this is the exact same thing that has spoilt them and us.
When is the last time you remember making an important decision for yourself, by yourself? One that would impact your life, say 10 years down the line. Like choosing what you wanted to do after 10th or 12th standard? Which college you wanted to go to? Which job or career you wanted to take up?
This is the same situation that I don't want to end up in. I don't want to look back at my life and see that these were not the things I wanted to do but still had to do them because my neighbours and relatives convinced my parents that this was the only way they would be able to be proud of me.
I am also to share the blame for the situation that I am in. I am not at all assertive (don't confuse that with not being confident) and that has affected my ability to convince my parents that I know what I am doing with my life. A lot has happened with me over the course of the past 10 years and I regret that I didn't have the assertiveness to tell my parents that I had already chosen a path for myself. I know this is a cowardly move writing about it here. My friend once told me that I was not confident enough to talk to people about real issues and that I was scared, which is why I blog about such personal issues. But right now I feel like it is the only way left to at least voice what I have to say.
From the decision to buying a post-paid SIM card to choosing a stream after 10th standard to choosing a college till deciding to do an MBA, my parents have made them for me or asked me to consult someone who would guide me with I should do in life because I clearly had no idea about what I was doing with my life and ironically enough, this too was decided by my parents for me.
Of course, I don't want to sound like I hate my parents. I love my parents but I completely hate the idea of them deciding what I should do in life and that too at a stage when I am completely capable of making these instrumental decisions for myself.
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